I'm not going to pretend telling you to put Suarez in was a stroke of genius because that wouldn't be true, funny or interesting. If you decided to go one more week without him "to try and catch everyone else up", sit there and think about what you've done.
Seamus Coleman
Seamus Coleman is mint. 'Memba I told you. 10 points and he didn't even get a clean sheet. Captain him against Swansea away if you want to know what it's like to live life on the edge (of sanity).
Opta have confirmed that Seamus Coleman is now officially minter than Peter Beagrie
Mesut Ozil
You may think 5 points for a midfielder who costs 10.3 represents good value. In that case, you, Sir, are either a Tottenham manager or utterly mad - or both. 3 goals against City and all he got was an assist. He's not bad - he's just not Ramsey good.
Samir Nasri
At the risk of repeating myself, Nasri isn't worth the money you paid for him - City scored 6, he played well and all he got was 5 points and this lousy T-shirt -
To look at it another way, Nasri got less than one point for every Man City goal. Suarez got over 5 points for every Liverpool goal.
Wayne Rooney
Like Ozil and Nasri, Wazza got 5 points this week - not terrific but he's guaranteed a start and has great fixtures coming up. Fear not. Double figures coming soon.
Oviedo
If you're so stubborn that you put Oviedo in even though he's a midfielder and I told you not to, then I'm afraid I can't help you. If you managed to find a format where he's listed as a defender, you still shouldn't have put him in because they somehow conceded to Fulham. So there.
Deulofeu
Admittedly one of my reasons to not put this guy in wasn't that he would get injured but he didn't do anything of note in 63 minutes prior to getting hurt so I'm chalking that up as a win.
Ravel Morrison
3 points in a snore draw against Sunderland. Man Utd (A) and Arsenal (H) are the Hammers' next two fixtures following a trip to the Lane midweek for the Carling Cup Quarter Final. Eek.
Ones We Got Wrong
Jonjo Shelvey
This week we got a lot of things right. One of those things was not Jonjo Shelvey. He just isn't one of those things yet - sorry. He might be though. Hang on for the home game against Everton this week but if he doesn't get at least an assist, it may be worth considering other options given that Swansea play Chelsea (A), Man City (H) and Man Utd (A) in their next 5 games.
Jermain Defoe
What's the difference between Jermain Defoe and Bobby Soldado? One gets two points when he plays and is called Jermain Defoe. The other gets two points when he plays but he's called Roberto Soldado. If you did put Defoe in then, well, I admire your courage but there is a thin line between bravery and foolhardiness and, hindsight being 20-20 and AVB being the predictably unpredictable manager he will presumably never be again, the hat-trick man got the nod and Defoe warmed the bench again after consecutive starts against Fulham and Sunderland. Hey - at least he didn't come on as a sub! Forget watching the Spurs v. Wham Carling Cup game to see who starts - just forget it. Forget the whole bloody thing.
Inconclusive
Aguero
Remember when I said "don't take a points cut to put Aguero in - he's about to get really injured"? Weird 'cause I'm pretty sure I said that.
Leroy Fer
Fer was never going to be money straight away. Like a fine wine he should sit in your cellar until just the right moment - but unlike a fine wine he's cheap as chips, plays football for Norwich and is completely undrinkable.
