A quick turnaround for GW 18 starts the annual Christmukkah football bonanza. Lace up your stockings, take off your 3D glasses ('cause that fad died faster than this joke was deemed 'too soon' by our moderators) and get ready to be told you can bet on just about anything at just about any time by Ray Winstone, even after the match has ended*.
*Must be a losing bet. Terms and conditions only apply if we say so. Free leaflets on how to quit impulse internet gambling can be obtained through a lengthy postal process.
Captain Marvel
Suarez (13.2) -- @ Manchester City
For the first time in what feels like an epoch, a legitimate argument exists about whether Suarez should be captained. GW 17 saw him continue to embarrass not only defenders but anyone related to them who happened to be watching - he got another assist, another brace and 3 Bonus Points against Cardiff. Away at the Etihad is a tough fixture at first glance and if City take the points, as they tend to at home, Suarez will suffer in terms of BPs, but they have also conceded 8 in their last 4, 3 of which were at home to Arsenal. So it's not just presumptuous to assume Suarez won't turn up and put on a show; it's foolish to rule him out of starring in a boxing day goal-fest that exposes the weaknesses inherent in City's defence.
David Silva (9.3) -- Liverpool
Those worried about Suarez's away fixture, or wishing to capitalise on the differential offered by his trickiest fixture so far need look no further than Silva. He's walking the suspension tightrope having racked up 4 yellow cards so far so transferring him in right now isn't ideal but if you have him already, he may your best candidate for the armband. We talked about why you should put him last week against Fulham and he didn't disappoint us. Not only did he grab 2 BPs for his two assists culminating in 10 points, he hit the bar and was involved in both other City goals - providing the assist assists.
Assister assister - never knew how much I missed ya
He'll be talismanic again this week in a tantalising fixture between two of the most free-flowing teams in Europe. The fear of rotation or being substituted early always exists for City players, especially during the festive season, but don't let that put you off - just keep an eye on Pellegrini's conferences and watch out for tweets with photos of all-you-can-guzzle turkey competitions attached.
Adebayor (7.7) -- West Brom
I read your mind, right? No? Well talk is rife about why this man wasn't starting every match. AVB must be mad. He's the best player in the league and so on and so forth. Such is the fickle nature of sports but let's not get carried away - Adebayor has made a career of blinding fans, pundits and goalkeepers with his dazzling talent before burning out sans whimper. On the other hand he has 3 in 2, West Brom haven't shut a team out away from the Hawthorns since GW 8 and he's started both games since Sherwood, now "long-term" manager, took charge. He's 11/8 to score at any time but then Soldado and Defoe have even shorter odds so work that one out. You'll be one of the few (1.2% atm) who have him in your team and even fewer who make him captain so if he's at it again, you'll get a warm fuzzy feeling inside - and it won't just be that chilli-flavoured chocolate someone got you because you're a foodie now.
Hazard (10.0) -- @ Swansea
With Mata benched again it's now safe to assume Hazard, who has started all but one game this season is Mourinho's preferred weapon to unlock defences. Swansea are capable of playing well but usually falter against the big sides. Hazard is capable of ripping apart the league's more porous defences - He got 13 points against West Brom, 18 against Cardiff and 17 at Sunderland. He's hot off a good performance against Arsenal. In a game about as entertaining as a Christmas DVD about Noel Edmunds' jumpers, his key pass to Lampard in the first half, which struck the underside of the bar, was sex. Chelsea have mixed upcoming fixturse: Swansea (H), Liverpool (H), Southampton (A) and Hull (A) before United (H).
He's already a must-have and obviously a must-stard (I just can't help myself) but is he the sneakiest captain option available? For Coleman, a clean sheet is almost a bonus as he's been scoring so frequently and Everton's are 11/10 to keep their sheet clean with Coleman only 5/1 to score. Not a great bet, admittedly, but an indicator of just how potent the full back is.
Baines, whom Martinez is confident will be back from injury to face the Black Cats, would be an even better bet if you can manage to squeeze him in this week.
Theo Walcott (9.1) -- West Ham
I try not to captain players not playing at home and Walcott is certainly my least favourite of these options but West Ham's defence looks like it was sellotaped together by Michael J Fox (it's OK - he makes funnies about it). They've conceded 3 at home to Everton, City and Chelsea already this campaign so even though it's a short week for Theo on the back of a big game against Chelsea, he's only travelling to the south of the capital and won't be a popular captain choice, especially after he was sub-par in the mind-numbing scoreless draw against Chelsea.
Buy Low
Ross Barkley (5.1) -- Sunderland
Barkley is the most fouled player in the league but he looked to foul himself as he was through on goal against Swansea only to swallow his own legs and fluff the shot. Minutes later, though, he struck the bar with an excellent cross-body strike and eventually shot a screaming free-kick past Tremmel to win the game and earn himself a handsome 9 points. He's cheap, explosive and he's playing for a free-flowing Everton side with more confidence than a teenage pop star.
Mathieu Debuchy (5.0) -- Stoke
A clean sheet, an assist and man of the match against Palace has managers scouting right-back Debuchy, who's started all but one game this season. The Toon army have two clean sheets in three but you'll want other options to plug in GWs 19 and 21, when they face Arsenal and Man City at St. James'.
Adam Lallana (6.9) -- @ Cardiff
Lallana was restricted to 2 BPs against Spurs due to Adebayor's winner but had he been on the winning side, the starlet would have undoubtedly had all 3. His bright play finally translated into fantasy success after a dry 5 weeks and he now faces a Cardiff side devoid of stability, direction, confidence and depth. Expect the Saints to bounce back after a spirited loss to Spurs.
Lallana has 13 pts more and costs 1.9 less than Oscar - back of the net!
Sell High
Southampton Defenders
Having defended well initially, Southampton are now relying on their attacking players to pick up points. They have no clean sheets in 8, Luke Shaw has joined Nathaniel Clyne on the injury list and with Everton and Chelsea making up two of their next three, Saints defenders like Lovren (5.7) and Fonte (5.2; still owned by 18.9% despite not starting the last two games) should be traded in before they become dead weight. A more generous fixture list starts at the end of January so if you're patient and save your wildcard until then, it could again become a back line representing good value.
Olivier Giroud (8.8)
It's not easy to drop Arsenal's only striker but the 26.8% who have him should consider that he has scored 2 points in half of his games this season - making him more hit-and-miss than a BBC sketch show. He has tasty fixtures coming up but missed a golden chance against Chelsea and murmurs around The Emirates suggest Wenger will look to bolster his strike force in January, or may even give Walcott a spell upfront. Giroud isn't bad but fantasy is all about opportunity cost. Who else do the teams with Giroud have - or rather NOT have? My guess is most teams with Giroud in them can't afford Suarez, Silva and Rooney without looking like a dog's dinner elsewhere and as boring as it may be, a team without those three will struggle to come out of January at the top of the table.
