You know when you say they couldn't write it? Well they could have written Gameweek 21 pretty easily - this week threw up few surprises but many goals. The top 7 all won relatively convincingly and the scoring was done predominantly by household names. Fantasy points were spread between 9 different players in Liverpool's 8 goal thriller with Stoke, with Sturridge, Suarez and Arnautovic the only players to crack 8 pts. Sunderland's 4-1 thrashing of Fulham threw up some big daddy scores from Adam Johnson and Ki Sung-Yeung, making it the standout result of the fantasy Gameweek. We dissect the week ahead with a dollop of banter, a touch a sarcasm and ever so slightly more than the usual pinch of iconoclasm (you'll know it when you see it).
Captain Marvel
Suarez (13.4) -- Aston Villa
I'm gonna go ahead and leave this section blank... you know what to do or you wouldn't be here.
Sturridge (9.2) -- Aston Villa
Captaining Sturridge over Suarez would probably be enough medical evidence to have you sectioned but there's a chance, I suppose, you have Daniel and not Luis - in which case you should probably just play your wildcard to get him in. You played your wildcard already? Aw man, OK. And you don't want to take a 4 point hit to get him in? Well that's just fussy. FINE captain Sturridge, then. He got 9 points in 25 minutes against Stoke and Suarez only got 13 in a whole 90. There - I've substantiated your absurd plan with a bit of maths. Happy?
This week's Captain Marvel is brought to you by fluffy
"We have small players who combine quickly, so to find someone who can hold it, keep the ball, make some room for other players, he does that very well and gives us a very good balance."
Not quite a ringing endorsement of his goalscoring expertise. Nor is it surprising that, having shelled out big bucks for Ozil, the perennially parsimonious club are quelling rumours they will be breaking the bank again in January. Nevertheless, what this backing illustrates is that Giroud could well be the frontman for Arsenal's title challenge (or at least until Wenger decrees they are mathematically out of it). Not having Gunner coverage this week could be costly given they play a Fulham side who give away goals so charitably strikers across the league have taken to sending them kindly worded social networking messages asking for their fair share.
Whether this tweet is defamatory is subject to ongoing investigation
With Walcott crocked and Podolski now categorically considered second best best, Giroud is better value than Ozil (10.1) not just in recent games but over the entire season (12.4 pts per £ to Ozil's 9.6). Just don't be surprised if he has a dry spell at some point. Arsenal have Liverpool and Man Utd back to back games in February and from GW 30 face Tottenham (A), Chelsea (A), Man City (H) and Everton (A).
Buy Low
Sung-Yeung Ki (4.8) -- Southampton
If you're gonna sign Suarez, Hazard, Silva and Baines/Coleman, you'd better find some bargains to put in that bucket. Word on the grapevine is Ki might be on his way to Swansea. Only time will tell if that's the case and the effect it would have on his production but at 4.8 he's worth a gamble. Ki celebrated his 11th straight 90 minute game with 12 pts last week against Fulham from a goal, an assist and 2 BPs. He's hit or miss but a reliable bench player who could come to life - and Sunderland haven't looked too shabby recently.
Artur Boruc (4.7) -- @Sunderland
The Soton stopper came straight back in to shut out West Brom. Southampton had only kept one clean sheet (against Cardiff) with Gazzaniga (4.1) between the sticks and while one picks the defence, not the keeper per se, there's reason to believe the Saints could put together a run of staunch defensive performances against the likes of Sunderland, Fulham, Stoke, Hull and West Ham - 4 of their next 5. Having suffered injuries to their back line, Southampton also finally have a full complement of the defenders who served them so well early on this season - although should Pochettino follow Nicola Cortese out the door, there could well be a destabilising effect on the club.
It's worth considering that Boruc rotates nicely with Mannone (4.4), the main problem not coming until GW 33 when the Black Cats play at White Hart Lane and Southampton take on Man City at the Etihad but £8.7 for two keepers frees up a shedload of shillings to fulfil your wildest wildcard fantasies.
Steve Sidwell (5.1) -- @Arsenal
Like Joe Cole and Damien Duff before him and now (unbelievably) Juan Mata, Sidwell was a victim of Chelsea's bench academy, whereby they sign up (or tap up depending on their mood/incumbent sporting director) promising starlets, then play ancients like Florent Malouda and Samuel Eto'o in their stead.
In 2006/7 Sidwell scored 134 fantasy pts for Reading. The next year he signed for Chelsea where he was endlessly marginalised and has, ever since, failed to rise from the ashes of his disastrous spell at Stamford Bridge. This season, however he has become a mainstay at Fulham under first Jol and now Meulensteen. Sidwell has 3 goals in his last 3 games (including an assured header in the FA Cup victory over Norwich), 5 PL goals and 11 BPs for the season - decent bang from a 5.1 midfielder owned by only 4.6%.
He has more overall points than the best alternatives in his price bracket such as Shelvey (5.4), Januzaj (5.2) and Barkley (now injured though oft-touted in fantasy fora) but if he's not in your team every week a more explosive option such as Mutch (4.6) or Elmohamady (4.9; provider of more crosses than ANY PLAYER this season - maybe Jelavic (6.9) will get on the end of those now?) may be preferable. Fulham's upcoming fixtures are tough so prepare to be in for the long haul - he is not a pick and play but he may just flower into the kind of cut-price consistent performer who wins people fantasy titles.
Sidwell playing for Chelsea? This looks shopped
Sell High
Man City Defenders -- Cardiff Is it better to be right and lose or wrong and win? I regularly convince myself I prefer the former but the latter requires a lot less arguing and is ultimately the goal of anyone who hasn't succumbed to the intolerable Hollywood paradigm that "it's the taking part that counts". Last week I took out Zabaleta, safe in the knowledge that City would never keep a clean sheet at St James' Park. And they wouldn't have if Mike Jones hadn't disallowed a goal the most unwarrantable quality of which was that it was against a top 4 side (yeah, I went there). Anyhoo I maintain that City have a leaky defence. Kolarov (5.4) is a tantalising option given his attacking prowess but is prone to rotation. So is NastyItch as it turns out and defenders who play intermittently do not butter my muffin. Zabaleta (6.0) then, with 5 assists but no goals, is the best choice. The problem is expensive defenders don't pay off any more unless they: a) score; or b) play in midfield - preferably both. Translation - It's Baines (7.4) or bust - (with the obvious exception of Coleman (6.8) - but that wouldn't be as alliterative or emphatic a saying now would it?). West Ham, who admittedly have hardly any eligible defenders this week due to injuries and suspensions, could be much better long term prospects than any of the City players.
Why pay more for less? West Ham have moreclean sheetsthan City
Buy Anyway
Sergio Aguero (11.9) -- Cardiff Unless you're playing your wildcard this week it will be nigh on impossible to get Kun into your lineup and wildcarders trying to pry him in alongside Suarez, Silva and Hazard will find that the rest of their team looks like the back end of a dog's dinner. There are some bargains out there waiting to be bought, though, and Aguero's potential to score a hat-trick on any given Saturday is reason enough to decimate the rest of your squad to pry him in. If you can't hunt out cupple bargains, you're not much of a fantasy manager anyway are ya?
Couple Beers CUPPLE BEERS!
Aguero scored within 50 seconds of being on the pitch in the mid-week 5-0 rout of Rovers and even though Dzeko and Negredo bagged two each, this was perfect conditioning for a sensational return to the PL. His premium price is marginally off-putting but, a bit like Cristiano Ronaldo of yesteryear, all the arguments against his inclusion dissolve into oblivion when he, I dunno, scores 5 goals in the first half against Cardiff at home - wait, that's this week isn't it? Shit. Sorry. Spoiler alert.
Money Maker
Adam Johnson (6.4) -- Southampton
If you're a fan of budget building, look no further than hat-trick hero Adam Johnson. Johnson, who also had an assist and, of course 3 BPs this week, scooped 22 pts, making him a prime target for those prone to a knee-jerk reaction. He has found himself on the fringes since GW 9 and his price has consequently fallen by 0.6 but after this dominant display should cement his place in the first team for the foreseeable future. The good: Sunderland now faces Southampton (H), Stoke (H), Newcastle (A) and (Hull (H). The bad: after that they face 3 top 4 sides in 4.
Fool's Gold
Ashley Cole (6.0) -- Man Utd
Has Mourinho forgiven Cole for attending Arsenal's Xmas shindig, or has he been forced to play him because Ivanovic (6.0) is injured? Well, actually, even though Mourinho has an ego large enough to warrant its own gravitational pull, he wasn't starting Cole long before his Christmas gaffe. Ironically, only one game later Jose was forced to play him in place of Ivanovic, with Azpilicueta (5.3) switching to his favoured right back berth. That Mourinho has selected the Spaniard over Cole despite his natural right-sidedness is strong evidence of his belief in the full back, more so given Cole's terrific early season form (6 BPs in the first 9 GWs). Azpi, as he is becoming affectionately known, looks to be winning this battle and although Ivanovic is out until the end of the month, it makes no sense to pick the man whose days are numbered.
Jesus Navas (8.3) -- Cardiff
Astute managers may have already replaced Nasri (out for 8 weeks) with Navas, his main rival for a starting birth, to mitigate any loss in value and maintain City coverage. The more cautious amongst you, or those who didn't have Nasri and/or already had Silva, will no doubt worry about the simultaneous return of Aguero. It will be interesting to see who Pellegrini settles on as his starting XI now that his star man is back. What it won't be is fun if you've picked Navas up. You can't go wrong with City attackers at home - unless they don't play.
Long term Nasri will probably come back and don't discount some last minute shopping by Sheikh Mansour. Stick to definite starters Silva (9.3), Toure (10.1) and Aguero (11.9) - things are usually expensive for a reason and it pays to play the long game.
