Gameweek 28 Preview - The Milk Problem

Last week we sat equivocally on the fence over whether to pick Sturridge or Suarez as skipper. This week we'll stick our necks out and say that Sturridge - the man who has seemingly discovered and entered the God Mode cheat - is a better bet. It's worth remembering that Liverpool miss GW 29 so if you have one of the two and were pondering putting the other in, think again... and then don't do it. Liverpool have their highest ever points tally in the EPL after 27 games but will be wary of a sprightly Southampton side who beat them 1-0 in the reverse fixture. Don't expect goals galore like against Swansea. This could be the week to pick a dark horse for Cap'n.

Spurs were shocking at Norwich and Adebayor barely had a sniff but this was Tottenham's third away game on the trot and they always look haggered after a Thursday night match. This Sunday's late kick off against Cardiff will be a relief to the White Hart Lane faithful and 3 points is an absolute must to stay in the hunt for top 4. The only reason Cardiff aren't bottom of the league is that Fulham are so laughably poor, and last weekend was the first time Spurs have failed to score against a team in the bottom half all season so you'd be forgiven for marking this down as a foregone conclusion. Even with his deuce against Norwich, Ade has clocked up 26 pts in the past 3 weeks, making him the most in-form striker who plays in both GWs 28 and 29. If you've got him, give him the armband. If you don't, what are you waiting for, divine intervention? 

There's not much more to say about the Belgian maestro we haven't said already. Sources close to the midfielder have confirmed that he is very fond of scoring goals (12 so far), eats with his mouth closed and tastes nothing like chocolate (that sounded less sexual before I wrote it down). He's fired a few blanks recently but when he's on fire, it's mega massive - and that's what we want in a captain. None of this 'safe 6 points' BS. "If you ain't first you're last." (Vince Vaughan, Superbad)

A few weeks ago we tipped this man for big things and, with the benefit of hindsight, we stand by that tip. Norwich have been handy at the back, managing four clean sheets in their last 6, including against City and Spurs. The list of their next seven games reads like a shopping list of teams fighting relegation. A goalscorer he ain't - according to Wikipedia, he's scored three goals ever - and you'll have to dump him before their horror final four games of the campaign (don't even look if you're a Canaries fan) but he's cheaper than a night out in Somerset and his name kind of sounds like 'goal son'.

Everton is a great place to look for transfer targets right now if your squad is balanced enough to avoid the GW 29 fixture turmoil. They sit out next week but after that will have two games in hand. Lukaku is back from his ankle problem and Lacina Traore is out for ages with a messed up hammy. Remember how good Lukaku was earlier in the season (9 goals so far)? Well he's about to get BARE double gameweeks an' tin'. Make sure you've got some cover for next week and enjoy the ride.

Anything Made in Manchester

In case you needed reminding, City aren't playing this week OR NEXT week. Drop those City players like a bad habit.

United don't play either and there would be an argument for keeping big names like RVP and Roon-dog in if it weren't for their abysmal form. Fresh off a 2-0 drubbing by - you didn't guess it - Olympiakos, they'll be desperate to impress against West Brom next week but they've been desperate all season. With Rooney milking the club coffers for all they're worth and RVP complaining about his teammates "going into his area", whatever that means, Old Trafford may as well put up a sign that reads "it has been [0] days since the last disappointment."

Despite losing to Norwich, the likes of Vertonghen (6.9), Dawson (5.2) and Walker (6.1) might be tempting after Spurs' back-to-back clean sheets against Everton and Newcastle, but they face Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool in their next five and are prone to total without-notice capitulation. They're all actually quite expensive when you consider the potential value that's out there. Go for budget and rotate, ladies and gentleman. You don't always get what you pay for.

He's arguably more of an oldie than a goldie but Samuel has notched up two killer performances in the last few weeks (10 pts v.s. Newcastle and 17 v.s. United). As per Mourinho's bafflingly moronic comments about his strikeforce, under-the-hill Eto'o remains first choice at Stamford Bridge, but Torres's goal against Galatasaray might be the excuse Jose needed to drop the Cameroonian for the first time in six games (he'll do basically anything people might view as interesting). Chelsea are one of the rare teams with an uninterrupted Gameweek schedule but showed on Wednesday that they are also capable of playing some of the most mind-numbing football under the Portuguese Man O' Bore. Plus what if Eto'o suddenly dies of old age?

Steven Gerrard (9.1) -- @Southampton