GW31 was a big fat point party for anyone with enough fingers to click a mouse - if you made fewer than 107 points you are below average. Sorry - them's facts. That doesn't mean you have to run off and cry about it, though. Likewise, even if you smashed in 180 pts or something silly, it's not time to get all cross-eyed and sweaty just yet. Have a cold shower, pinch your enthusiasm and think of baseball.
We hope you haven't reached your fantasy climax just yet. The best is yet to come
Captain Marvel
Suarez, obviously
This section seemed like a really good idea at the beginning of the season...
Buy low
Jordan Mutch (4.5) -- @West Brom... then everyone rubbish, then Chelsea
Guess who the 13th highest scoring midfielder in fantasy is this season? Oh shit, that's right - you can read the headline can't you? Well, it still surprised me. For a guy who plays for relegation fodder Cardiff Red Dragons whom Noone (just Craig) ever heard of six months ago, that is staggering. He is the highest value player in all of FF at 22.7 - and is only owned by 5.5%. 17 pts in his last three has been a big help and he had a brief not-so-super sub spell but this kind of value can't be ignored. Cardiff's only tricky remaining game is at home to Chelsea on the final day. Next up they face West Bum, Crystal Phallus and South-mouthhampton. AaaathankyouveryMutch -I'm here all week.
I hope Noone wasted data on this
Sell high
Arsenal Defenders -- Man City (H)... then Everton (A)
You need only read the fixtures in the above title to agree with me here really but I'll paint you a pretty word and fact collage in case you're slow or just like hearing me gabble on for some reason.
The Gunners are prone to conceding goals - and lots of them - particularly in the big games. City, need I remind you, put six past them last time. They've conceded eight in their last two matches and have the run-in from hell - Newcastle are their only remaining opposition with nothing to play for. Mertesacker (6.4) is owned by 26.3%, Koscielny (5.7; injured for as far as the physioroom eye can see) by 11% and Sagna (5.5) by 6.3%. These guys need to be sold down some sort of river sharpish.
Arsenal are without four key midfielders and key cogs like Sagna are already dreaming of summer holidays and playing at the Etihad next season. They could become a sinking fantasy ship in no time.
Photoshop level: Expert
Punt of the week
Martin Skrtel (5.8) -- Tottenham (H)... then it gets a bit tricky
Somehow Liverpool's best defender is only owned by 6.1%. Apparently he's scored five of his six shots on goal this season, which makes him better than Messi if you think about it. He really does score though - two braces this season (17 bloody points - TWICE!) - and Liverpool are capable of shutting out Spurs - they did it at White Heart Pain.
The issue for Skrtel the turtle is games against Chelsea and Man City - both are at home but it's certainly not ideal from a bantasy perspective. Also Pool are one of those sides on 31 games - so putting Mart in 'aint forward thinking. This is punt of the week though - not dead cert of the week. So what u 'spect?
Squirtle used header. It's super effective!
Fool's Gold
Ross Barkley (5.1) -- @Fulham... then Arsenal
Isn't it tempting to jump on this bandwagon as it rolls by - with 20 points in the last two weeks - and a price that, unlike the beer monkey and most other decent midfielders, won't turn all your money into change?
This prick got me drunk, turned all my money into change, lost my keys and invited that ugly girl home for me
Thing is, in the eight games preceding his 20 point haul, he played a bland total of 190 minutes - that's 24 per game - and it's weak sauce. In his column yesterday, Andy Hunter of The Guardian fellated Barkley - quite rightly I might add - for his (Barkley's that is) stunning solo-effort against Newcastle. But this is a man who broke his leg in three places in October 2010, fractured his toe on January 4th and is still a young'un. Martinez isn't stupid. He knows the chances of CL football are slim and he won't be risking his prize asset in every game for the rest of the season based on one wonder goal - especially if they fail to topple Arsenal next week.
Everton have played 30 - one fewer than most - and face Championship-bound Fulham and Sunderland, as well as Palace, Southampton and Hull in the run-in. This makes a lot of their players tempting prospects. But Mirallas, Osman, Barkley, McGeady and Deulofeu will probably all rotate now until the end of the season - making all of them rubbish options in your crunch matches, wherein dependency is key.
If you're miles behind it might be worth having a go on one with a great differential but Barkley, owned by 18.3%, certainly isn't the one you want for that.
Buy anyway
Man City x 3 -- @Arsenal... then all the matches
As ever, I defer you to myself - see my post on FPL Hints for all the amazingly logical and inarguable reasons you should be putting Sky Blues in your squad ASAFP.
Pic of the week
If any of you had any doubts about my views on the lottery, or how amusing unrelated pics are, please let the best headline ever put them to rest -
