They thought it was all over. Now it isn't. I'm talking, of course, of the race for the title.
Do we care about that, though? No, not really. We've had a right chuckle about the great banana picture I went and found with my phenomenal interweb research skills and now we're going to focus on things we actually have control over. Unless you're the geezer who squirted Johnson's Baby Oil under Stevie G's feet, you didn't affect that result - no matter how many times you sung Blue Moon or called Suarez a ***t. Forget real life situations you're powerless to influence and let's focus on all those lovely double gameweek points you can reach out grab with your own hands.
Captain Marvel
Captain Marvel is back - not only are there DGWs with which to contend but our usual Uruguayan suspect hasn't scored a hat-trick for six matches - horrendous scenes. We're delighted. It's only fitting that come the run-in, tough decisions must be made - we're here to shepherd the weak, who have long relied on the safety of Suarez, through the valley of darkness.
Wayne (Wazz-Dog) Rooney (11.7) -- Sunderland (H), Hull (H)
[Edit - Wazza's gone and duffed himself up in training. Watch this space]
If you're a cat lover, you may want to look away now because Shrek's about to make a right royal mess out of some Black Cats and Tigers. With eight goals in nine, Rooney has climbed to second in the strikers' points table.
Whether or not you believe thrashing Norwich at home truly constitutes a recovery, Giggs' impact will surely combine with RVP's imminent return and the porous defences of both opposition teams to cook up a Double Gameweek Sundae drowning in goals, sprinkled with hundreds and thousands of points and topped with a glacé cherry.
OMG. How am I going to eat all these lovely points?
Sergio Aguero (12.7) v.s. Yaya Toure (10.3) -- Everton (A), Aston Villa (H)
City have tougher games than United and have the small question of a Premier League title at stake. Playing at Goodison is no cake walk, though, as United, Chelsea and Arsenal have all found out (Liverpool would have lost too if it weren't for that pesky Spaniel Sturridge). The Citizens are the most accomplished netbusters in the league, however, so don't worry about them from a fantasy perspective.
I feel about Kun v.s. Yaya, the same way I feel about my amorphous blob of an ex-girlfriend - I'd rather not call it. If you're gonna push me, though (and I know you are, you cheeky sods), I'll plump for Sergio. Yaya is producing wondergoals for fun at the moment but the Argentinian has a higher ceiling; massive scores are more likely and that's what picking a skipper's all about if you know your mustard from your mayo.
Saucy
Toure's got three more goals overall but he's got them in nearly twice as many minutes - and Aguero has almost double the number of assists (11 - 6). That's Quality Street for a striker. Just don't tell Yaya I picked someone else over him or he might call me racist.
Buy Low
Samir Nasri (8.7) -- Everton (A), Aston Villa (H)
His form's tapered off a bit recently but with Silva and Navas out, Nasri will play a crucial role in City's title bid. I've got this feeling he's in for a big'un and no-one in his price bracket comes close to his expected value for these three fixtures. Buy buy buy.
Shane Long (5.5) v.s. Nikica Jelavic (6.5) -- Aston Villa (A), Man Utd (A)
Both unavailable for the FA Cup Final against Arsenal. Both therefore dead certs to start against Villa, and probably United too. Two away games isn't that appealing and there's better out there if I'm honest but if you're keen on Hull and trying to spot the difference, Long is cheaper and has more points. Problem solved.
David Silva (9.2) -- Everton (A), Aston Villa (H)
[Edit - Silva has now been passed fit for Everton - he may not play all 180 of the DGW but is worth having (though not in place of Yaya) and definitely shouldn't be sold.
Sell High
Defenders -- Anyone (anywhere)
One of the most in-form defenders is currently Amorebiata. No - not the spicy Italian pasta sauce. The Fulham defender. Yes, you read that right. Cash in and put your money where the points are - in goalscoring positions.
Did You Hear About?
Sunderland
I already wrote loads of stuff about Sunderland this week - gosh! Clickety here - y'all need to hear about Connor Wickham.
Jon Heder can't believe you haven't been on FPL Hints lately.
Pic of the Week
No contest this week.
This man bought Pulp Fiction without even reading it and now he's doing this. Absolute genius.
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