In real (non-Fantasy) life it's becoming apparent that Chelsea have won the league. Boring but true. Anyone not named Chelsea could, however, seemingly finish second - as evidenced by Newcastle's meteoric rise from bottom to fifth. In Fantasy world, Gameweek 12 created headaches for managers that no amounts of Neurofen, whisky or self-gratification could alleviate. It started ominously when t'international break produced more player casualties than a Player Hater's Ball. Big hitters like Baines, Tadic and Chadli - as well as recent Fantasy darling Downing - were deemed doubtful and did indeed miss out, scuppering Gameweeks for many good, honest, hard-working folk and producing a boring snoring average score of 45 points.
I'm pretty sure this dickhead had something to do with loads of my players not showing up
Gameweek 13 could be another squeeky-bum affair - with Man City, Chelsea and Arsenal away, Spurs and Everton facing each other and out-of-sorts Looperville up against self-described giant-killers Stoke (well, they did beat the champions... and Tottenham... [cough]).
Captain Marvel
The Red Devils -- V.S. Hull (H)
Manchester United, cold off their unconvincing victory at the Emirates, have the best match-up around this Gameweek in the shape of a home tie against those pesky Hull Tigers. Anyone with Angel Di Maria (10.0) or Wayne Rooney (10.3) in their team will be licking their chops given the dearth of other skipperable options in this here raft of fixtures. RVP (12.4) could even be a decent shout if you're one of the 1.9% who inexplicably own him. Just a wee update: He's yet to produce more than eight points in a single game, has blanked in his last three and is looking increasingly like a shadow of his former Fantasy self - to the extent that Arsenal fans almost like him again. They definitely don't, though.
Buy Low
Massadio Haidara (4.3) -- Newcastle
Hide your what now? Hide yer "ah" - get rid of that gobsmacked look on your face and accept the fact that it's been seven hours since Newcastle conceded a goal. Also consider the fact that this fella's owned by merely 0.1% of teams and accrues an impressive average of 20 BPS points whenever he starts - more than any other Toon defender. Alright so he's hardly a dead-cert starter - you'll want to keep an eye on the injuries of Steven Taylor and Fabricio Coloccini - but he's currently starting full back for November's stingiest defence so if you're sitting pretty and have some FTs going, why not roll with him against West Ham (A) and Burnley (A), then cash in later if you must?
Mile Jedinak (5.1) -- Crystal Palace
We warned you a few weeks ago that this boy was worth monitoring and sure enough he produced another corking free-kick in Crystambul 2.0 on Sunday. He's been a key player for the Eagles for a while now so we shouldn't be too surprised and has a forgiving schedule coming up. As an unbiased Champions League commentator might one day say: "Get in."
Glenn Frey: Also a key player for The Eagles
Sell High
Graziano Pelle (8.4) -- Southampton
'Sell' is a strong word here for my long-term Fantasy Romeo. 'Politely invite to not be in one's team any longer' is perhaps a preferable phrase. It's not you, Graziano; it's all those other lovely budget strikers who don't have Man City, Arsenal and Man Utd as their next three fixtures and have scored since mid-October. I still want to be friends. Maybe we can get back together when all this abysmal fixture stuff is settled. For now, though, it might be time to go on a little break. I'll still think about you... ;-( #heartbreak
Fool's Gold
Christian Eriksen (7.8) -- Tottenham
"Now let's not get caught saying things we don't mean and can't take back," I mutter to myself as I write this. Eriksen is arguably Spurs' best player and is capable of double-figure points displays given his wondrous set pieces as well as the odd goal (four this year). There are some things that irk me about him though. For one, he rarely/never gets assists - his first of the campaign resulted from the free-kick against Hull this weekend that struck the post, which Harry Kane duly swept home. The Dane has also been substituted six times this season and has Everton and Chelsea as his next two games. Chelsea famously dominate Spurs on the regs but they have also kept a clean sheet against them in six of their last eleven encounters at Stamford Bridge. Everton also have a decent record against the Lilyhwhites and last season a grand total of one goal came from both matches. Assuming you don't already have Chadli (having two Spurs midfielders would warrant an arrest under the Mental Health Act), and assuming you don't want Chadli, look to bring Eriksen in for the home tie with Crystal Palace in GW 16. Tottenham have an excellent Xmas schedule. Trimmings and all.
Puntsville, USA
Abel Hernandez (6.8)
I don't make a habit of picking up those who've been dropped. Nor do I often opt for strikers playing for teams with a solitary goal in four games. However Gaston Ramirez's red against Spurs could open the door for the return of the sprightly Abel Hernandez. He opened the season on cracking form with three goals in Hull's first five and could do some damage alongside the now-fit Nikica Jelavic. Plus if he can retain his place, you'll be rocking this move a la Picard:
