Having been thoroughly de-pantsed by the shambles that was Gameweek 12, many were again rescued by the Aguerooooooness of Aguero in Gameweek 13. We are now forced to reel ourselves in on a short turnaround. A dearth of current team news should be mitigated by the fact that Tuesday's line-ups may be in before the transfer deadline but with Costa suspended, Arsenal injured and Spurs playing in Chelski, it might be time to manage expectations and/or go off-piste. So deflate your tires, hop in the Wrangler, don something that deals effectively with dust and recruit your local mad scientist 'cause where we're going we don't need roads.
Buy Low
David De Gea (5.5) -- Manchester United
In the spirit of switching my style up, I'm going for the player I've actually already brought in myself this week. DDG is not only United's most reliable player, he has epic meatballs fixtures from now until forever - STO (H), SOT (A), LIV (H), AST (A), NEW (H), TOT (A), STO (A), SOT (H), QPR (A), LEI (H), WHU (A), BUR (H), SWA (A), SUN (H), NEW (A), TOT (H). Even with their rickety, sellotaped-together defence there are at least ten clean sheets for grabs in those sixteen games - and LVG's men have turned the tables to produce two shut-outs in three, defended brilliantly against Arsenal at the Emirates and, perhaps surprisingly, have only conceded two or more three times this campaign. The Dutchman may not be flying yet but he seems to have instilled his usual stinginess at the back. With Krul out until Boxing Day and Mannone dropped for Panty Lemon, I dunno about you but I pretty much feel like had no option but to make this move.
No Option: When dreamy calls, you pick up
Sell High
Diego Costa (11.0) -- Chelsea
I waved goodbye to Mr Coffee weeks ago and haven't looked back since. Now that the inevitable fifth yellow card has come to pass, those who rode the injury wave are stuck with a tough decision on whether to stick or twist. Anyone without Aguero should obviously cave but for others it 'aint so simple. There aren't any other viable premium strikers - RVP looks washed up, Balotelli could allegedly face time out for re-tweeting something racist (not to mention he's an abysmal footballer) and Sturridge and Rooney will and could miss out this GW. A two pronged transfer is probably in order, then, which will subsequently make it equally awkward to get him back in. You may end up with a better overall team, though. He's scored eleven goals but only scored more than seven Fantasy points twice and that was ages ago in GWs 3 and 4. Aguero is better captain material going forward and now could be a good opportunity to pick up Oscar (8.5) instead, who looks good value for your Chelsea coverage. He's just a smaller, prettier version of him anyway.
If Oscar had taken a few more punches to the face...
If Costa had taken a few more punches to the face...
Fool's Gold
Roberto Soldado (7.6) -- Tottenham
The headlines read something like "Soldado fires Spurs to assured victory over Everton". Problem is he should have scored two, and is still their third best striker. Adebayor should be fit to face Chelsea and last time Pochettino started Bobby in a big game it didn't exactly do the trick (they lost 4-1 to Man City - their biggest loss of the season). Tottenham's last five games have finished 2-1, The Blues haven't won by more than one goal since early October and Costa is suspended - so Wednesday's contest at Stamford Bridge may be tighter than some are expecting. The winds of fancy change often and drastically at White Hart Lane, however. Soldado may be flavour of the fortnight but would you really be surprised if he were dropped and sold in January? Don't risk it.
Bargain Basement
Esteban Cambiasso (4.7) -- Leicester
Estaban's back in vogue, guys, and last week he picked up his second goal of the season for a Whopper Burgering 10 points. So Leicester Shitty haven't won since week three and went five without scoring prior to this weekend's 2-3 loss to QPR (also rubbs if you hadn't noticed) - oh yeah and he's a defensive midfielder so, you know, won't score a lot, if ever - but he's an enabler. With him in the squad you could suddenly afford Aguero, Sanchez or even a private jet. Think of his low low 4.7 price as that lovely chubby chaser who allows you to go past the point of regular non-bed-ridden obesity by bringing KFC directly to your face.
"Nom nom nom - delicious anything"
Pic of the Week
In honour of all that guff about the new Star Wars:
