When Man Utd splashed unfathomable amounts of cash on a tweenie bopper of whom even Sir Geoffrey Stelling hadn't heard, eyebrows hit the sky - but Tony Mart has come in hot, and with the same number of goals as Falcao scored in his entire United career (four) and a price tag that makes Roon-dog Millionaire look more overpriced than bottled water from a mini-bar, the new Fantasy superstar is already tiptoeing towards the 'must-have' category.
Captain Marvel
Anthony Martial (8.3) -- Man Utd v. SUN (H)
Usually I wouldn't venture towards giving the armband to a relatively unknown quantity this early doors (especially with Aguerooooo up against a shaky Spurs defence) but the boy's got hot feet. He's vogue. He's Hansel. He's in the zone. Do him or you're out of style yesterday.
Buy Low
Odeon "Stale Popcorn" Ighalo (5.1) -- Watford v. CRY (H)
You can't buy much lower than 5.1 these days and if you do you're unlikely to get a striker with four goals and seven Bonus Points for it. The hornets haven't exactly been free-scoring but a nice little run of fixtures makes this budget buy a solid acquisition if you're looking to upgrade elsewhere to realise your dreams.
Remember when employment was a thing? People under 29 don't.
Sell High
Romelu Lukaku (8.3) -- Everton v. WBA (A)
With no goals or assists since Gameweek 2 and some sweet and sour chilly fixtures coming up after West Brom (LIV H, MUN H, ARS A), it's past time to jump overboard on this sinking ship.
Fool's Gold
Bacardi Sagna (5.3) -- Man City v. WAT (H)
Sagna may look like a good shout this week but Zabalata is only a week or two from returning from injury and will challenge for the right-back berth, if not make it his bitch. You've got to think long-term when looking at your defenders. Don't get trapped in a loveless marriage with a non-starter.
A word on Frequency
The more astute among you (and all of you are pretty effing astute or you wouldn't have turned up right here) will have noticed a slight curtailment in the quantity of our posts (though not the quality obvs - we wouldn't want to disappoint Rafa). Sadly real life is getting in the way of my Fantasy/Bantasy production and looks set to do so for the next few months. We'll endeavour to keep bringing you mega giggles and top tips weekly but may slip into a bi-weekly rhythm as the mencal Xmas period nears. Bear with us and you shall be richly rewarded. Also, feel free to share this blog with your mateses. We run on props like Dr Cox.
Us
Pic of the Week
Microscope may be needed for full effect of funny:
