Halloween's over. That means at least three things: 1. I'm full to the brim with Kinders Buenos. 2. A manager or six are about to get the sack. 3. It's time to start getting ready firing up Amazon for Xmas.
Children are expensive and expectant: This holiday season, be pragmatic and make fantasy football transfers instead of unprotected whoopie
Which players will treat you to some Gameweek 12 goodness? Who was nothing more than a no-good dirty stinkin' Gameweek 11 trick? Here: Take as much Bantasy Football as you want. Stuff your face until you're sick - what do I care? I'm not your real Dad.
Captain Marvel
Alexis Sanchez (11.6) -- Arsenal | TOT (H)
Arsenal haven't failed to score in a League clash with Spurs since 2008 and have averaged 2.7 goals per home derby since then. Spurs have entered free-scoring mode (eight in their past two PL games) but will be mightily snackered for their third match in seven days and displayed their penchant for capitulation with a late wobble against Aston Village. Hurrikane saved the day and is back amongst the goals, along with Spurs' entire midfield, so we could be in for fireworks in the late one this Sunday, with five goals or more a distinct possibility.
Sanchez remains the most explosive midfielder in the league with the highest upside, and is therefore the best option for skipper, apart from maybe baby KDB. He hasn't produced squat since his three-match rampage but if you miss out doubling up on thirty-burger you'll look dumber than everyone who's ever attempted Movember.
Wayne Rooney -- Manchester United (10.2) | WBA (H)
Despite the facts that Wazza - the third priciest striker in FPL - has just two goals and one assist all season, he remains owned by 11.4% of managers. Worse still, he is one of the most transferred-in strikers so far for Gameweek 12, in which he plays the meanest away defence in the league in the Baggies. Some fools haven't been paying attention...
Fool's Gold
Bobby Firmino (8.0) -- Liverpool | CPA (H)
I remember the days when Liverpool didn't have any players who could play up front. At one point Benitez even tried to pretend Robbie Keane was a number 9. That was about as close as he ever got to telling a joke. Well now they have forwards coming out the whazoo... but they're all injured. I'm a Firmino believer... that anyone classed as a midfielder, likely to be starting up front at home is worth considering but Palace have only conceded four goals away from home all season and, while Liverpool scored three at Stamford Bridge on Sunday, it was against a wet fart of a Chelsea side.
There's also the large matter of Chris Bentekkers (a snip at 8.2), whom will be restored to the starting lineup to make Belgian waffles out of the Eagles, possibly at the expense of Bobby F. If you're really considering bringing him in this week even after all this sage advice, I have two words for you: Andriy Voronin. If that's not a link to the past I don't know what is.
Winner winner chicken dinner
Bargain Basement
Joel Campbell (5.0) -- Arsenal | TOT (H)
The Gunners' ammunitions are severely depleted - no fewer than seven midfielders are out injured for the big one, which means World Cup wonder Joel Campbell represents a cheeky short-term option. He started and scored in the 3-0 against Swansea and could be in the vicinity again this weekend but don't expect him to be much use once Wally, Ox et al return.
