'Tis the season to be jolly. Christmas is around the corner and Santa's come creeping around town with a few early prezzies for us Bantasy footballers. A sack full of delightful fixtures this week with captain choices aplenty. Have you been a good boy this year? Will Tim Allen kill Santa, absorb his life force, wear his clothes as a trophy, and then sneak down your chimney to deliver you the gift of a three figure score this gameweek? Well, just in case he doesn't, follow these instructions and you might be able to get one for yourself.
Captain Marvel
This has been one of the tightest, most unpredictable seasons I can remember with shock results and upsets seemingly every week. It's not been easy for us fantasy managers this year with the Big Three (Kun, Alexis, Hazard) failing to deliver consistently as they have in the past. We find ourselves each week seriously considering mid-tier players who've burned us so many times in the past (Ozil, Lukaku, Pelle) for the armband, and even budget options.
But I would like to draw your attention to the arse end of the Premier League table, where I believe I may have spotted some trends that we can begin to capitalise on. There are some truly terrible teams occupying those bottom slots, and you could do far worse than captain any of the big hitters they'll be lining up against. Vardy (swa), Lukaku (CRY) and Mane (AVL) will all be popular choices this week, but for the big points, look Northeast.
Mesut Ozil (9.3) -- Arsenal | SUN (H)
I never thought I'd captain this guy, but I'm seriously considering it this week. For so long Ozil's failed to deliver on his price tag. He was just one of those players who always got the assist before the assist, or in other words, completely fucking useless from a fantasy perspective.
Also has something in his eye
However, averaging 9.4 points over the past 7 GWs, he may have turned a corner and you can't really argue with stats that pretty.
Now at this point, you may also be thinking: "Big Sam, he's regarded by Arsenal fans in the same bracket as Tony Pulis, always setting up teams to injure their puny players, getting under their skin, and all too often getting results." And aren't Sunderland on the back of a one-game winning streak too? Is it wise to captain Mesut? Well that whole Big Sam image is all bollocks that dates back to when he was at Bolton. Mr. Wenger's record against him at West Ham? Played 6, won 6. This is an easy win for the home team, the only worry is that Cattermole goes in with a leg-breaker on our man during the warm up. Stranger things have happened.
Philippe Coutinho (8.4) or Daniel Sturridge (10.1) -- Liverpool | NEW (A)
If you find yourself trying to make up ground in your mini league after a slow start to the season or a recent slide down the ranks following your failure to get on the Everton bandwagon (or maybe you think you're a football hipster so went for Deulofeu instead of Barkley... welcome to my life), you might consider taking a gamble this week on the fitness of Liverpool players.
Klopp issued a statement that, reading between the lines, read something like "Daniel Sturridge is a massive pussy". Having finally been exposed by his new boss, he promptly responded by doing what he does best, coming back from injury and banging in 2 goals. It could be carnage at Newcastle on Sunday, so consider using your balls and getting that armband on ya man Dan.
That said, Spaniel is a contender for 'perennial disappointer' of the Fantasy millenium. It goes something like this, comes back from injury, bangs in a couple of goals, does silly dance, gets a paper cut, out for 3 more months. If you can handle that shiz on your team, the rewards could be marvellous, but it'll mess with your blood pressure something fierce.
Buy Low
Will.i.an (6.9) and/or Kurt Zouma (5.4) -- Chelsea | BOU (H)
Have Chelsea turned a corner? Will they start charging up the table now after putting back to back wins together for the first time in two months? Too early to say. Certainly don't go investing your hard earned cashish in the big boys (Hazard / Costa), but Chelsea have got a fairly good run in the ever-manic December, with home fixtures against Bournemouth, Sunderland and Watford. Their defence has been looking solid over the past few weeks; Zouma is nailed on (even when JT gets back from injury) and, with Courtois set to return soon, the bus could be back at the Bridge (it certainly turned up at White Hart Lane).
If you're looking for attacking options, Willian is the way in, and a steal at £6.9 mil. Unlikely to get a massive haul, but should be scoring you points consistently this month if only by virtue of the fact that he takes every single free kick.
Honorable mention to David Silva. Keep an eye on him over the next few weeks as he is weaned back into the Man City setup. When Aguero's back, Kevin bossing it, Sterling on the flank and Silva pulling the strings, magic will ensue. Magic like Snoop Dogg winning the Game of Thrones and taking over the Iron Throne.
Wizzle is Cizzle
Sell High
Alexis Sanchez (INJ)
The Iron Man, Mr. Indestructible himself has been undone by the 'mystery' injury curse at Arsenal. Or maybe he's been undone because the man needed a rest and Wenger wouldn't give him one. Good work, Arsene. Now everyone who's anyone has some serious problem-solving to do (the answer being Sanchez out, Mesut in. Barkley if you're feeling fruity).
Fools Gold
Another general rule (which as an avid Bantasy reader you should be well aware of) is not to get sucked into Man Utds good Christmas fixtures. Don't go near their midfielders or forwards until we've seen some concrete signs that are capable or producing anything other than dull, 1.2 goals-per-game football. You should already have defensive coverage, and could consider doubling up, but steer clear of those further upfield boys until they've shown they know where the net is.
