As fantasy football takes a week off over Easter to watch snoreworthy international meaninglessness and eat too many chocolate prolate spheroids, we at Bantasy Football are taking the opportunity of a break we haven't earned at all to share our chips tips with all youz lovely people, with a side of cheesy wildcard tactics. Before we get started, you should know that FPL have announced a Double Gameweek in GW33 for Everton and Crystal Palace, making Lukakucakes, Lennon chicken and Your man Cayabe serious contenders for the wildcard squad. The result is three main strategies to choose from. Your tactics on this will invariably define your season so you might want to spend a little time pondering your options this weekend instead of just quaffing overpriced chocolate shells and pretending you care about who loses up front for England. Just a thought.
The Thinker
1. Uses any remaining free transfers for GW32.
2. Plays wildcard for GW33 to ensure Lukaku and Lennon ownership.
3. Uses bench boost in GW 34 to play a full squad with double points!
4. Starts culling players from teams missing GW35 which DON'T have a double GW in GW38 (i.e. Man Utd but NOT Everton). Considers taking a points hit to do so.
5. Triple captains Payet or Firm-in-your-pants-oh! in GW 37.
6. Plays all-out-attack whenever they effing like (it's not gonna do much).
This is the thinking man's makalele strategy. You'll need to make sure you have just enough Everton players to reap the rewards of their back to back DGWs in 33 and 34, but not too many that, in conjunction with any DGW 34 Man United players you have, you field a weak-ass team in GW 35. Palace players might be best avoided if you're averse to taking a hit as they have a blank in GW 35 too, but no double in 37 to make up for it.
It requires thought, care and attention and if you're the kind of FPLer who wakes up on a Saturday having forgotten to do your subs, it might not be right for you.
It should richly reward the dedicated few, though and is IMHO the absolute gravy.
The Drinker
1. Has a whisky drink.
2. Has a vodka drink.
3. Needs to pee.
4. Uses the kitchen sink.
5. Ignores / forgets about the measly Toffee Palace Doublegameweeks in GW33 and goes balls deep on GW34 success.
Going out on the lash on Friday is fun, isn't it? Not very conducive to Saturday morning productivity, though. If you're more of a late-night drinkerman than a last-minute tinkerman, why not ignore the Everton/Palace GW33 doublegameweek altogether? Apart from Lukakucakes there's not much quality there so take the week off and enjoy your liquid dinner this Good Friday.
The Stinker
1. Forgets to do the things.
Deep thought and effort isn't for everyone. Don't be down on yourself coz you can't be arsed with any hard work or forethought whatsoever. Just be proud you read this far. I'm sure it'll all work out fine anyway*. That's what always seems to happen. Planning's probably more than your Farn'sworth.
Being lazy's not a problem; it's a lifestyle
All over the Anfield
Liverpool are the bells of the balls with two DGWs and no blankeroonies. Get your fill of Firmino, cultivate your Coutinho and stick with Sturridge and you shall go far. It might be best to leave out any part of a defence which conceded four goals to Norwich, though.
Pic of the Week
It might be Easter, but don't forget your Berkshire Grief cape:
