It was looking so good for Mr. Casual just a few weeks ago: Vardy - an inspired choice - was scoring every game; Alli - another original pick - was reliable as rain in English spring; Wes Morgan - whom probably no-one else would have thought to keep given his lack of upcoming Double Gameweeks - racked up 15 pts from a winner and a clean sheet, just like you knew he would.
Playing your second Wildcard in the first week of January wasn't short-sighted. You did the maths four months ago and figured out that at this stage: Liverpool would be in the semi-final of the Wafer Cup and so rotating EVERYONE, even their kit manager; Leicester would be cruising to the title by winning every game 1-0; and Lukaku, despite his immense talent and blistering goalscoring form mid-season, would melt away into useless mush like an overly-dipped Digestive, never to score again.
Captain Hindsight and Mr. F.P.L. Casual: Kindred spirits
It must have been a real shock to Mr. Casual's system when, half way through DGW 34, it all started to go hits up for those without wildcard backup, and anyone with half a brain and a wildcard intact scored a ton and a half easy. Gameweek 36 presents another opportunity for Señor Casuál to gloat about his impressive decision to stick with Mahrez and ignore the now rotation-prone Coutinho. Enjoy it while you can, hombre. Gameweek 37 is just around the corner and I'm gonna Triple Capitan tu madre en la gameweek doble.
Captain Marvel
Alexis Sanchez (11.1) -- Arsenal | NOR (H)
Sexy Lexy gets our armband this week over Kun, who will be wrapped in cotton, bubble wrap and a big wet Chilean kiss in preparation for City's return leg against the White Meringues. It helps that their opponents Norwich conceded 3 to Blunderland and 2 against Newcastle Disunited in the past three weeks, but it helps even more that he's an exlosive quasi-striker with multi-goal potential.
Aguero turns up to training
Buy Low
Jermain Defoe (5.2) Sunderland | STO (A)
Bringing in Sunderland coverage is as good as an idea as it's ever going to be, seeing as they and Chelsea are the only teams with a game in hand that didn't feature in the DGW 34 melee smash. The Only Black Cat worth considering is Jermain 'Form is Temporary - Size is Permanent' Defoe. His 13 goals this season is impressive for a man with a supporting cast comprised of Fabio 'Diminishing Returns' Borini, Yann 'One Goal' M'Vila and Lee 'No Goals, No Assists' Cattermole. Their next four games are against some of the most porous defences on offer, and a DGW37 means that even though Sunderland might shit the pot, they won't shit the bed.
Sell High
Romelu Blankaku (8.7) -- Everton | BOU (H)
A few weeks ago I was starting anything with a doublegameweek and a pulse. That included (save for the pulse part apparently) my genius decision to entrust this fool with a starting berth in my beloved Fantasy Football team. Sure he's got easy fixtures. Sure he's got a DGW37. But can you stay faithful in a room full of Ighalo? Hell to the muthaflippin' no. Even Kanye knows that's a rhetorical quizzestion.
Fool's Gold
BAMidele Alli -- Tottenham | SUSPENSION PENDING SUSPENDED
Bam Bam's been a naughty boy and faces a possible three-match (i.e. rest of the season) suspension for giving Yacob a well-deserved but rather uncultured sucker punch to the vital organs. Unbelievably, over 10,000 FPLers have still seen fit to transfer him in this week. Don't be one of them or you'll be left in a right mess.
