This week everyone you know who plays FPL is playing their wildcard apart from (a) those too stupid or impatient to save it until now; and (b) those too clever to do what everyone else is doing. If you're in the latter category you may wanna click away now - the 'W' word is gonna come up a lot.
#Obvs you wanna stock up on as many double gameweekers as possible and CLEARLY you have to balance that with those missing out on Gameweek 35 such as Man Utd, Everton and Palace but what's the right blend? We're gonna get down to individual pickings in just a few inches but first here's some tactical mastery straight outta my grey matter with hashtag no filter.
Take the hit
I've got my wildcard. Yeah I do. But I'm gonna be taking more hits between now and Gameweek 37 than Rihanna, or an NFL linebacker, or whichever you think is funnier. The game's about points - predicting points and getting points. If you're not willing to lose 4 to get 6, or more, you're not doing it right. Of course nothing is guaranteed but trading a player who won't play GW35 and has stingy Leicester in GW 36 (i.e. a United player) for someone with decent GW35 and 36 fixtures and a double in GW 37, will likely turn a profit. The baseline is 4 points from the double gameweek just for turning up for 60 minutes and, if you play your cards right, you'll bank big on each and every transfer. It's also a lot more fun when your players actually play...
This guy's looking at me funny
Buy Low
Gabriel (4.3) -- Arsenal | WHA (A)
My favourite wilcard purchase at the moment is the bargainyest bargain we've seen in FPL for a while... if he plays. Gabs has only missed one of Arsenal's past 9 games despite the return of Pear-shaped Mertesacker. The DGW34 fixtures both at home to Palace and West Brom look like two guaranteed clean sheets. The Gunners also have a good run in and haven't conceded in two on the trot so as long as he's not rested, he is unquestionably the best value player on the market.
Sell High
Bamidelle Alli (6.2) - Tottenham | MNU (H)
A man who is tired of Deli Alli is tired of life and I shall never tire of this majestic maestro, the future hope of England that he is, but he has not scored in eight games and has a tough couple of upcoming fixtures with no double gameweeks on the horizon. Former Spurs man Aaron Lennon (5.6) offers a much more adventurous budget midfield option, with back-to-back double gameweeks and four goals in his past seven. If you can't decide between the two, try lowering the brightness on your laptop screen to pointlessly reduce your carbon footprint as you swap between the, over and over again.
Fool's Gold
Tottenham and Leicester atttacking players
Sure they're the best two teams in the league but they have fewer fixtures than everyone else. You're rebuilding a fantasy squad, not creating a retrospective team of the season. Vardy, Mahrez and Kane have been great but it's time to say "seeyah!". They got you this far but they simply don't have the ceiling other players do - certainly with Leicester averaging exactly 1.0 goals per game.
There should be no debate that dropping Kane or Vardy for Lukaku is the right move. Lukakucakes has 25% more time in which to score you points and he's only got 8% fewer points than both of them IN SPITE OF HAVING PLAYED TWO FEWER GAMES. If Ighalo hadn't gone off the boil, I'd be repping him as a great differential alternative too - keep an eye out though he might be a good shout for those wildcarding for GW37.
There's a better argument for keeping Leicester's defensive players as they're exceedingly cheap and the best value double gameweekers (Rojo, Gabriel etc.) are rotation risks and so may not get 180 minutes anyway, but it's certainly far less exciting.
If you wanna be as excited as this guy, you'd better take some DGWers
Puntsville, USA
Yannick Bolasie (6.0) -- Crystal Palace | NOR (H)
Boy'z got ill skillz. He's not been that productive since returning from injury, though. Still, with a double double gameweek (that's right - the double double) in the offing over the next two weeks, he's got plenty of opportunities (four in fact) to pre-emptively make up for the blank he has in GW35. It's certainly a risk - not least given his GW34 double is away to United and Arsenal - but with a teensie ownership of 3.5% and a low price that's certain to sky-rocket between now and 11:45 on Saturday, you can double double down on YB.
If you haven't had Inside Out Burger's Double Double, you haven't lived
Pic of the Week
This week's pic of the week isn't a source of humour - at least I hope not. It's is my current dream team, subject to 1,000 reviews between now and Saturday morning of course. I couldn't be bothered to try to say something funny about each and every one of these jokers but please feel free to comment on what a disastrous job I've done, or send me medals to congratulate me on winning FPL.
I'm hoping to make up the missing 0.2m by wheeler dealing
OK I lied - I found this and it's pretty great (click link or open binoculars):
