With a few weeks to go until Fantasy Football kicks off again we're already seeing a lot of articles on the best Swedish strikers not named Zlatan or the fifth best mid-priced defender who once played for Crystal Palace and really likes walking his dog. Here at Bantasy Football we like our Fantasy advice irreverent - sure we do - but we don't like to overcomplicate things. It's why we never contest our parking tickets, always keep things civil with the in-laws and avoid complex carbohydrates altogether. So here are simply the best players to put in your Fantasy Football team this year.
Simply the best
Sergio Aguerooooooo -- Man City (13.0)
Call him overpriced. Call him injury prone. But Kun produces explosive Fantasy football numbers year after year. There simply isn't a player who can rival his capacity for big scores and the security he provides as a captain pick. Must-have...
Firmino -- Liverpool (8.5)
Firmino's second year in the Prem is bound to be an improvement on his first. Klopp has strengthened all over, Sturridge is back, and there's no tricky Wafer Cup to contend with this season. Given he played fewer than 2000 minutes last season, he was stellar. My rudimentary maths indicates that he was worth 7.07 points per 90 minutes played, compared to Payet's 5.99 or Mahrez's 7.11. Firmino could easily be the top scoring midfielder this season if he stays fit. Cracking value at 8.5 smackeroons.
Romelu Lukakucakes -- Everton (9.0)
The Blue side of Liverpool are also looking at attacking improvements. Arnautovic would significantly improve their attacking threat. Even as it stands, though, Everton are a lot more prolific than you might expect. Their strike rate (1.77 goals per game) was second only to Man City last season and this was almost entirely down to the boshtastic brilliance of Romelu.
He had his best ever Fantasy season with 18 goals, 7 assists and 25 Bonus Points. With Koeman, who got more goals out of Southampton in 2015/16 than Manchester United or Liverpool managed, taking over, you can expect a similar return from Romelu this season, perhaps even an uptick.
Lukaku's also got a killer fixture list to kick things off. Spurs (his GW1 opponents) famously always lose on the first day of the season. The Toffees then play West Brom, Stoke, Sunderland, Middlesborough, Bournemouth and Crystal Palace. Lukaku might have 10 goals in the bag by October. He also may be plying his trade at Stamford Bridge, making him even more valuable. For the same price as twilight zone Rooney, and 0.5m less than the increasingly replaceable Costa, Lukaku is a steal.
My feelz precisely
Gabriel -- Arsenal (5.0)
With the news that tear Mertesacker has peared his knee again, Gabby is looking a steal at 5.0. Logic would dictate the Gunners bring in a replacement CB but if they remain too stingy to do so, this lad's gonna be the best value defender in FPL.
Thibaut Courtois -- Chelsea (5.5)
In one sense, Conte is an unknown quantity in the Premier League and it is difficult to know how Chelsea will play under him. In another sense, it's entirely predictable. Italy were the most snoretastic team at Euro 2016 and there's no reason to expect anything different from his Chelsea team. If anyone remembers Jacques Santini, who took over Spurs after boring everyone to death with the France national side, they may well feel a sense of deja-vu.
Still unconvinced? Conte's favourite Chelsea player is Nemanja Matic. He bloody loves him. They have Eden Hazard, Pedro and Batshuayi. This is not a team from which to select defensive fantasy players and Courtois should be rock steady at the back and represents a decent differential due to the risible shitshow that was Chelsea's back line last season.
