Fantasy Football is hitting its stride and it's five past tough decision O'clock. Do you break the bank for Ibrahimovic? If so, what cheap players can free up some o' dat cap space? Is Bentekkers gonna be a thing? Can you risk starting a player under transfer speculation? You're gonna find all this stuff out in, like, hardly any minutes whatsoever.
Buy Low
Lynden Gooch (4.5) -- Sunderland | SOT (A)
It's not often you get to put "Gooch" in a headline.
I not-so-famously settled for 'Gooch69WasTaken' as my Pokemon Go! username recently.
'Gooch69', believe it or not, was taken. Sometimes when you shoot for the moon you end up in the stars, I guess.
I digress.
There is a player. His name is Gooch. Need more? OK well he costs a mere 4.5 dubloons. He's playing as part of a front three behind Defoe. He's started both games so far. And did I mention his real-life name is Gooch? Can't really see how you need any more reasons to buy this guy. The team names it frees up alone are worth the price of admission.
Crucially, having a 4.5 mid is going to free up all that Ibra/Aguero money you so desperately need. Gooch now, ask questions later.
Sell High
Firmino (8.4) -- Liverpool | TOT (A)
There's a fire sale on Brazilian midfielders from Merseyside - or at least it should be. Coutinho is set to miss the game at White Hart Lane with an owie and Firmino hasn't given us the Fantasy returns we expected. Worse still, with Sturridge back, Firmino will drop deeper and he was always much more productive when playing as a forward. Bobby's got undoubted qu-wal-i-tay but a terrible fixture list. Regardez:
Sure Hull at home is something to look froward to, but with so many sexier options out there at a fraction of the price (Redmond, Bojan etc.), it's unwise to hang onto a player who at best will give you sporadic Fantasy results in the coming weeks. Money yourself; spend it on things.
Fool's Gold
Victor Wanyama (5.1) -- Tottenham
Do I really have to say it? Defensive midfielders = No. Just don't. Quit it. Quit hitting yourself.
Spurs aren't exactly firing on all cylinders and whilst there isn't much to shout about in the 5.0 price range, bringing in players like Wanyama, a card magnet who just so happened to score from a set piece in a 1-0 win, is pure madness.
Yet 100,000 managers have decided to Bet Victor this week. Y'all need to take a long hard look at yourselves. Sure this is "just Fantasy Football", but this is the kind of decision making that gets people like Trump elected and causes global financial meltdown.
Bench Your Engines
Christian Bentekkers (7.5) / Wilfried Zaha (5.5) -- Crystal Palace
Regular readers will know that I'm a big proponent of these two Eagles. Zaha is in my side and I even set aside £1m to dump Gray (6.5) for Benteke (7.5) upon the transfer from Looperville going through.
But I'm starting neither this week and here's why:
Bentekkers: Needs time to settle. "Far from match fit" is the cry coming from the Palace training ground so Connor Wickerman will get the start this weekend.
Zaha: Subject to a "derisory" £15m bid from Tottenham. Yup, £15 million for a player who scored 5 goals last season is now an offensive amount to offer. That's £3m a goal. I'd love to score a Premier League goal but pretty sure I'd rather have the cashish, and be kicking it in the WIndies on a 60ft yacht with a bajillion "strippers" and enough Vodka Red Bull to make my heart explode.
Anywayz, appaz Wilf's not in the right frame of mind to play this week, and if he does go to Spurs he won't start. Personally I'm gonna bench him and wait patiently but you may wish to ditch him altogether.
Pic of the Week
Don't ever let anyone tell you I don't write cutting political satire, or fuck with double negatives.
