As Duke Nukem would say, "Aaahhhhhhh, much better." Prem is back. Fantasy is back. Bantasy is back. I finally have a socially acceptable excuse to sit inside on a lovely summer's day and watch TV. It's never too late to start being exceptional (at Fantasy Football). Early season is where you build a base for later success - or do so horrendously that you need to wildcard, tear that base into oblivioin and start all over again. Even if you've had a bit of a downer on GW1, think carefully about each decision you make, consider the next few gameweeks and above all, don't panic: You got dis.
^You, after Gameweek 1 probably
Captain Marvel
Zlatan | SOU (H) v.s. Kun | STO (A)
City are away at the Britannia, which isn't the fortress it once was. The Potters were the fifth worst defence in the league last season and conceded more than a goal a game at home. BUT they did manage to beat City 2-0 in the same fixture last season - AND City only JUST managed a sneaky winner against Sunderland last weekend, with a meagre four shots on target.
Meanwhile Zlat attack, fresh off dat sex-wee-inducing long-range grass-cutter, is at home to Southampton, one of the only Prem sides with a squad that actually worsened over the summer. They only managed a 1-1 draw with Watford in their opener due to sloppy defending and Mourinho's Reds looked bang tidy against Bournemouth. Ibra should be good for at least a goal in his Old Trafford debut. Pop the armband on him and thank me later.
There are other options, obviously: Kane, who blanked against Everton and admits he isn't fit; Hazard, who is away at goal-stingy Watford; or even Martial, who got two assists against Bournemouth and looked dangerous. Gameweek 2 isn't the time to be some sort of alternative crossfit d-bag, though. Stick with good old fashioned press ups and running a lot and you'll go far.
Fool's Gold
Etienne Capoue (4.5) -- Watford | CHE (H)
The ability to blast a ball into a practically empty net is one you would hope every professional footballer possess. It's not an opportunity which is going to present itself to St. Etienne Capoo every week, though. The Frenchman may appear en flíquê this week given the two very simple facts that he costs 4.5 and that he scored in GW1, but any points he does score are effectively worthless as they will only be showing up on your bench. You're never going to start him. Because he's wank. Ergo he's not a difference-maker and a complete waste of a transfer for the 30,000 + FPL managers who put him in this week.
Philippe Coutinho (8.0) -- Liverpool | BUR (A)
You'd be right to be all flustered about Coutinho after his brace against Arsenal. You'd be wrong to put him in your Fantasy team. Here's why:
For a mere 0.5 more you can have Firmino, who played up front despite being classed as a mid, was statistically superior to his Brazilian compatriot, and got unlucky.
Despite his stellar performance, Cout was subbed off after 69 (hehe) minutes at 4-2, demonstrating the fragility of his playing time even when on a hat-trick.
Put Pip in and you'll be starin' back instead of forward, where you should be lookin'. Just posin' like you know what you doing, only for the Fantasy Football Gods to laugh uncontrollably in your face when you fall off the mirage of a bandwagon. Don't get sucked in.
Buy Low
Sometimes you don't need to break the bank to get great returns and we're certainly seeing that with the midfield options so far in 2016/17.
If you're looking to scrub together a few rupees, consider picking up one of these bargain mids and upgrading elsewhere.
Nathan Redmond (6.0) -- Southampton | MUN (A)
In one of the more soul-destroying transfers of the summer, Pelle was sold to the third best team in the Chinese "Super" League, Shandong Luneng (yeah, you know it's bad when you haven't even heard of the city). There's a void up top at St Mary's and Pepe Le Puel thinks nanananananana Red Man is the mond to fill it. He classed the youngster as Henry-esque before Nate-Dog's well-taken finish against Watford. He also scooped three Bonus Points thanks to some nifty attacking work, which included creating four chances.
You may wish to hold fire on starting him until after the Old Trafford trip this week but Redmond could easily turn into one of the must-haves of the season if his form continues and his promise holds up.
Everyone's excited about Andros Townsend (6.5) because he's been impressive in flits for various clubs and now has a nailed-down starting birth - but it's Wilfried who should be on your radar if you love a bit o' value. In the loss to West Brom Wilf (I call him Wilf) had 4 penalty box touches to Dros's 3, the same number of shots on target (2) with better accuracy, and, surprisingly, he had the most tackles of any midfielder this weekend (9, six of which won possession).
With Bolasie gone Everton-way, fan-fave Zaha is assured starts and is, in my not so humble opinion, a better player than the over-hyped shoot-and-hope Townsend. They're of a similar mould so choosing between them may appear to be like choosing between being too hot and too cold, were it not for the 1.0 difference in price and the fact that Zaha is secretly a better player. Shhh don't tell anyone.
Sell High
Jamie Vardy (10.0) -- Leicester | ARS (H)
Giving up on a premium player early doors is always tough. Surely they're gonna come good, right? Wrong, if you're thinking of Vardy. As we said pre-season, Vardy is priced on the premise that Leicester will be good this season - and good enough to get him 20 goals. They're not, as they emphatically displayed by their capitulation to Hull, who have about 6 fit players and are primed to plummet straight back down to the Championship. Well it looks like they'll drag the Foxes down with them and it's abandon ship if you put all your chips on another Ranieri miracle this season.
That said, Arse's omnishambolic defence could actually make Leicester look good on Saturday so you may wish to hold fire one more week before cashing in and buying a proper Fantasy forward.
Pic of the Week
Pic of the week is gif of the week. Did I just blow your mind?
