Like any good perfume advert, or bad M. Night Shyamalan flick, last week's Fantasy Football made absolutely no sense. The top scorers in each position were: a) Tom Heaton (Burnley 'keeper) at Old Trafford; b) Sebastian (who?) Prodl for the suddenly mighty Hornets; c) Ilkay (too good to be true) Gundogan; and d) Sergio (we thought he'd lost it) Aguero. The world has clearly gone mad and/or started taking LSD, so here are some ball-tripping picks, laced with dank-ass memes, to see you through a confusing period in Fantasy Football and, let's face it, world history.
Fool's Gold
Ilkay Gundogan (5.6) -- Man City | MID (H)
Every Gundogan Has its Day. And sometimes an event produces a totally disproportionate reaction.
The Fantasy Football community's response to Herr Icky GunDogMan is one such reaction. The man's less threatening than a mashed banana; he just happens to have stumbled upon four tap ins in two consecutive games. Granted, that's a lot of tap ins, but it's unsustainable in anyone's book.
So you have two choices:
1. Join the hordes of thoughtless troglodytes who unthinkingly put Gun Dog Man in their Fantasy team; or
2. Do a bit of actual research and realise that Nathan Redmond (6.0) and James McArthur (5.0) are infinitely more attractive prospects in the same price bracket.
Buy Low
James McArthur (5.0) -- Crystal Palace | BUR (A)
Unlike Gundy's Man City, Crystal Palace aren't so replete with hubris as to go beating Barcelona mid-week and then rabbit on about how they beat the best team in the world (neglecting to mention the 4-0 wholloping said team handed their arse when it actually mattered to them).
They do, however, have a player even cheaper than GMan at 5 flat, who yields a healthy 5.625 Fantasy points per game return. That man is Jimmy Mac and he should be in your team, not least as he'll face Burnley, Swansea, Southampton and Hull in his next five fixtures. The fifth is versus a Man City team three days after they face Gladback and seven before they play Chelsea. So put King McArthur in your team and you can expect some next day delivery shiz.
Sell High
Zlatan Ibrahimowank (11.2) -- Manchester United | SWA (A)
Fantasy managers are selling Zlatman like hotcakes - so much so the number of drops can't even fit inside the requisite box.
I'm not going to go against the grain on this one - Swansea are woeful and Ibra could well pop up with a goal but he's simply not doing the business. He's getting all of the opportunities and just not finishing dinner. For a player costing over 11% of your entire budget, you need better results. With Lukakucakes playing out of his skin and Aguero back on song, there's just no room for a ponytailed diva capable of SIX BLANKS IN A ROW. Sorry, I don't mean to shout but I'm suffering pretty badly from buyer's remorse.
