If there's one thing I hate it's when my Fantasy D-fence is porous and lets in a bunch of unwanted, sometimes illegally-ruled-onside goals. In homage to the craziest Motherflipper ever to POTUS, we focus on how to keep those pesky border leaks at bay in a backdoor special ahead of Gameweek 23. I'mma drip you these factoids brick by brick. All you gotta do is lay em week by week and before you know it you'll be dripping in wall-to-wall Fantasy points. Yuuuuge.
El Capitan
Sexy Alexy Sanchez (11.9) -v- WAT (H)
OK I know I said I'd focus on the rearguard but I'm not Presidentially insane - For this week's Capitan we're forward-thinking and anyone other than Sanchez would be a regressive pick.
Last time the Hornets received a visit from North London it was a care package, the little taggy bit on which read:
"Dear Watford,
We are going to punish you like a POW now. Kindly forget to give a crap and allow the Spurs to March on to the easiest 4-1 win of all time"
They obliged.
I know I touted Sanch as a gangbuster last week and I know he oh-so nearly disappointed, but there's no-one else who deserves the armband this week - Lexy almost never dissappoints and is liable to put up a big dick display in the early KO.
Good News! Your Mum's dildo is en route
Buy Low
Yoshida (4.2) - Southampton -v- SWA (A)
The Saints are marching into the EFL Cup final without conceding a goal, and it's largely thanks to this Geez.
Alright, that's pretty meaningless given the starting line-ups in that comp usually have as many recognisable names as an Urdu phone book, but their record in the Prem hasn't been too shoddy either.
Now that Fonte has been shipped, Yoshi is pretty much nailed on unless he does something ridiculous like sucks up Claude Puel and turns him into an egg. Go go gadget get this guy in your FPL team.
Photoshop skills en flîquè
Sell High
Toblerone Alderweireld (6.3) - Tottenham | SUN (A)
Spurs have been the best team defensively this season but 6.3 is a hefty price to pay considering for 0.1 or 0.2 less you could have Walker or Rose, who are playing in positions more advanced than Haroldo Kaninho half the time.
Vertonghen's absence will also hinder Tottenham's ability to keep clean sheets, and Poch may even continue to tinker with the 5-3-2 which worked so seamlessly against Chelsea and Watford after Wimmer so generously distributed the ball to Man City's frontline.
Tobes is also carrying a knock so he's an easy sell if you're looking to upgrade elsewhere or just finally want to jump on the back of the wing-back bandwagon.
