The one-and-a-half day gap between Gameweek 34 and Gameweek 35 has all of us - not least those who need to squeeze out a blog post in the interim - squirming around desperately trying to find the best configuration for your Fantasy team. UNLESS that is... you're a clever sausage and you read our post last week indicating you should play your wildcard A$ÅP ®øçky.
Quick turnarounds like this require either forward planning (psssst - it's too late for that now) or coolness under pressure. After what Rashford did to my standings in GW34 I can't promise to be able to educate you about either of those - but I will soak you in dank memes and punderfully punny jokes to distract you from the inclement weather, the fact that Ed Sheeran is now the most successful man on earth, the unwarranted imposition of another bloody plebiscite, our generation's crippling financial and emotional debt, and of course Donald Trump's inability to talk about foreign policy without first reviewing pudding.
Another one? OK go on then, have another one:
EL CAPITAN
Sergio Aguero (12.8) -- Man City -- MID (A)
The Manchester derby broke a run of five games on the trot in which Kun netted - and twas a cagey affair.
Expect no such match at the Riverside. This promises a fiery encounter wherein CL aspirations meet impending relegation desperations.
Middlesbrough are sans Valdes and have recently conceded 4 goals to Bournemouth and Hull, so this could get messy.
In any event, on an average gameweek Aguero WILL score, and you WILL regret it if you don't (a) have him in your team and (b) captain his ar$e. So just do it. Sergio's been the automatic captain choice so long even your grandma could tell you wassup - she does wish you'd call her more often, though.
BUY LOW
Manolo Gabbiadini (6.4) -- Southampton | HUL (H)
If you wanna get low, get low, get involved in some Gabbiadini. His playing time has been scarce this season but when he does start, he makes marks. His 5.3 points per game ranks him fifth in the FPL table, above Aguero and just behind Ibrahimovic (R.I.P his FPL career BTW).
He's been doing the bizness for Soton of late so expect him to string together some more games and, with them, start peppering that onion bag.
Of course you'll also be aware that because the Saints have only played 32 (like Arsenal), he has double gameweeks in BOTH GW36 AND GW37. That's a double gameweek special and you need to order it now while it's still hot.
SELL HIGH
Harry Kane (11.6) -- Tottenham | ARS (H)
This is a big move given Spurs are the best team in the league right now and Kane is very much the spearhead of their attack - not to mention a Fantasy Football darling - but sometimes your heart needs a divorce from your head - and ALWAYS you need to look at the fixture list first and foremost:
Tottenham have the best goal difference in the Prem because they've been dispatching average teams 4-0 on the regs, but I don't see any easy fixtures left in their schedule, which diminishes Kane's upside, and recently Spurs have been relying on midfield threats like Alli and Eriksen to get them over the line more than Kane.
More importantly, the other options available are simply too good to pass up. I'm no longer a Rashford believer so I think the perfect forward lineup is now Costa, Gabbiadini, Aguero, and realistically if you want Hazard and Sanchez (which you do, because their double gameweeks are going to be fire) you're gonna have to give up Costa for someone like Defoe. There just isn't room in the equation for another top-range striker, and something's gotta give. Here's my Wildcard team at the moment. SPOILER ALERT: It rocks.
Kane just doesn't fit into it. And a good rule of thumb is: Never have a player costing more than 10.0 whom you wouldn't feel comfortable captaining. It's expensive, it gets in the way and it doesn't help - a bit like a child.
Just because you love something doesn't mean you shouldn't let it go. Be logical; love FPL points. Did I mention I love colourblind people?
FOOL'S GOLD
Romelu Lukaku (10.5) -- Everton | CHE (H)
Everton are the only top half team who have already played 34 games and as such you should avoid their players like a sticky plague.
This also goes for our old fave Lukakucakes even though he'll probably net against his old Chelski side to show 'em how much they still want him.
Problem is, he just isn't an enticing prospect with 4 games left, whilst some players have 6. That's 50% more Bantasy points and if anyone really wanna step to me on this, I'll smack 'em upside the head with a mathematics for dummies book to show 'em who's got mathematics for dummies.
