Grand National Weekend was a Fantasy Football bonanza. Nine goals from two games on Sunday and 12 goals from City, Spurs, Liverpool and Chelsea meant points points points in the sunshine sunshine sunshine. It was enough to encourage some topless topless topless.
Get your tits out for the dabs
But setting all that excitement to one side, Easter weekend is a time for careful consideration, repentance or chocolate depending on your dietary and religious proclivities - and these can all be seamlessly analogised to the last leg of the Fantasy season. The Gameweek 37 announcement has us all shook - That shit's gonna be cray and you best be praying you still have your Wildcard for Gameweek 35/36 so you can triple capitalise on these badboys:
Arsenal – Stoke (A), Sunderland (H)
Chelsea – West Brom (A), Watford (H)
Leicester – Man City (A), Spurs (H)
Manchester City – Leicester (H), West Brom (H)
Manchester United – Spurs (A), Southampton (A)
Southampton – Middlesbrough (A), Man United (H)
Sunderland – Swansea (H), Arsenal (A)
Spurs – Man United (H), Leicester (A)
Watford – Everton (A), Chelsea (A)
West Bromwich Albion – Chelsea (H), Man City (A)
You're gonna wanna drop dolla on players in these sides like you just hit pay day, but in the meantime there's the small matter of GW33 and a DGW for Man Utd and Crystal Palace to deal with. It's all getting mighty tasty. Grab your most elastic wallet and come spreeing with the Bantasy crew.
Buy Low
Theo Walcott (7.4) -- Arsenal | MID (A) It doesn't take much for me to get one up for one of the most explosive players in recent FPL memory. As frustratingly inconsistent as Theo can be, he has the capacity to provide bountiful Fantasy points - especially towards the end of the season when legs tire and minds float off to Magaluf. The lure of two upcoming DoubleGameweeks (that's a quadburger of points coming at you) is further enticement. So forget the Gunners' dismal showing against Palace and everything you've ever heard on ArsenalFanTV (which is on Youtube, not TV) - plant Theo in your team and soon will grow a full rager of an FPL boner, climaxing in GW37 when they play Blunderland AND Stoke. Sploosh.
This kid's got Walcott in his team AND a shark blanket. Double gameweek, double good times.
Don't Sell
Antonio Valencia (5.9) -- Manchester United | CHE (A)
Tony's stock is dropping like United Airlines just announced they are going to start culling puppies.
Thing is, United Airlines don't have a double gameweek in Gameweek 34. Tony Soprano does.
I searched the depths of the internet and finally found a meme about United Airlines
The converted winger possesses immense attacking threat and unless you're in danger of not fielding a decent line-up this week, we heavily recommend you hold yer horses and prep for a bountiful payout in weeks to come.
Fool's Gold
Philippe Coutinho (8.5) -- Liverpool | WBA (A)
I can understand why it would be hard to sell our Pip, but buying him right now is pure fool's math in direct contravention of obvious market signals.
No double gameweeks because Looperville have already spunked their load and played 32 games means you're getting entirely singular bang for your buck each week. I'll grant you he's scored in his past three games and Klopp's inability to coach a team to defend engenders crackalakin' goalfests but the only players in FPL history who even arguably could warrant selection over doublegamweekers are Cristiano Ronaldo, Gareth Bale, Sergio Aguero and Clint Dempsey.
So don't try to get all scientific about it and bark Brazilian statisticos at me - just pick players who have twice the chance to get Fantasy points for the same price.
