FPL Cancelled for 2017/18

It might as well be, at least, because the team I've put together is absolutely off the nanger. [Cheeky team pic is but a short scroll below] 

Admittedly I may wish to bring in some players who've moved Prem to Prem (as often represents stunning value) but as it stands I can't see how this lot aren't going to take me to my first FPL title without even lifting a chip. 

Let's analyse my picks one-by-one so you can agree I'm right. 

Oh, and BT Dubs: A piece on all those chips you're eyeing up is soon to come. 

Thibaut Courtois (5.5) Chelsea

Ordinarily I leave premium 'keepers to the noobs but this season FPL have switched up their style - No Goalies fall in the 6.0 category anymore, making a splurge between the sticks well worthwhile. 

Courtois is a safe pair of hands - most clean sheets last season, third-most points. I may even go for a super budget useless 4.0 backup such is my satisfaction - Just the Thibaut. 

Asmir Begovic / Artur Boruc (4.5) -- Bournemouth

Boruc came joint 6th last season in clean sheets (9) so the Bournemouth 'keeper presents cracking value at 4.5. That 'keeper will probably be new signing Begovic so it's a watch this space type deal - but worth monitoring - especially as the fixtures line up seamlessly with Chelsea's - When Thib plays Spurs (A), Arsenal (H), Man City (H), Man United (H) and Liverpool in Gameweeks  2,5,7, 11 & 13, Artur has Watford, Brighton and Leicester at home, then Newcastle and Swansea away. That's a recipe for happy. 

Kieran Trippier (5.5) -- Tottenham

Didn't take a genius to work this one out. Spurs had the best defence in the league last season and, thanks to Walker's departure, Trips is now nailed on. He showed immense attacking potential with just under an assist and just over a Bonus Point per 90 minutes when called upon in 16/17 and 17/18 could prove a golden year for Spurs if they shake off the Wembley hoodoo and put the Walker dolla to good use. 

David Luiz (6.0) -- Chelsea

It's hard to see why Luiz is so cheap given he played nearly 3,000 minutes last year, plays for the Champions and takes the odd Roberto Larcos FK. Alonso was mint last year, granted, but for 1 million difference I'll take my chances that Sideshow Bob tucks a few in with his barnet and upgrade elsewhere. Contrary to what FPL seem to think based on his pricing, Luiz is not obsolete, unlike this 5MB Hard Drive from 1956:

Your mum's dildo has arrived

Nacho Monreal (5.5) -- Arsenal

Again, I've gone for a cheap option in a top defence who looks a guaranteed starter. Monreal isn't great in the attacking stats department but Arsenal's fixture list starts extremely brightly so I'm happy to rely on him for the clean sheets and take anything on top of that as gravy. 

DeAndre Yedlin (4.5) -- Newcastle

There was a lot of excitement surrounding the young Yank when he was at Spurs but he never got his chance. He's done OK at Newcastle and has electric avenue pace - but watch this space - He's not as nailed on as the above at the moment so I may slip him out like a gentleman for someone else. 

Simon Francis (4.5) -- Bournemouth

You may think I'm risking being overly-reliant on Bournemouth and Chelsea, and you'd be right, but sometimes you gotta risk it. No defenders costing 4.5 or less racked up as many clean sheets as Francis and he also topped the Bonus Points System scoring for the bracket. An easy budget choice who won't play often given he's my 5th defender, but considerably more useful than any of the 4.0s on offer as it stands, so worth that 0.5 I recks. Don't waste your time looking for other options.

Dele Alli (9.5) -- Tottenham

Alli is a prime candidate for what in the NFL they might call "SSS" or "sophomore slump syndrome" , but he's also the best prospect in my view given his age, talent, role, and the fact that he finished second to Sanchez (2.5 more, and 50/50 to remain in the Prem all season) in points last year. 

Coutinho (9.0) could leave for Barca, now or in January. Eriksen is also appealing for Tottenham coverage but his finishing isn't as polished as his assist work. Alli pushes forwards more and has shown a knack for the spectacular and, more importantly, that Defoe-esque selfishness that lends itself well to Fantasy returns. 

Kevin De Bruyne (10.0) -- Man City

K . D . B . When the crowd says "Bo", select him! Kevlar got a smashing 21 assists last season and City's attacking returns should prosper even more in Pep's second season, with the additions of Walker, that other wing back you've never heard of, Bernardo Silva and possibly even Filthy Sanchez.

Playing time is less likely to decrease than for Sane and Sterling (now definite rotation risks) and with Aguero looking overpriced in a striker bracket with a plethora of options, KDB is your best shout for City cover.


Nathan Redmond (6.5) -- Southampton

Y'all knowz how I love me a mid who sometimes plays up top. Firmino's been updated to a forward, and his value relegated when you compare him to other forwards (only 11 goals - just one more than Vokes). Nat's had no such recategorisation but make no mistake - he's an attacking player who can play as part of a front three.

He's averaged 6.5 goals over the past two seasons which is solid, not amazing, but that was more than any striker Southampton has on its books so expect those numbers to get PUMPED this season.


The season kicks off for Saints with home games against Swansea and Wham, then Huddersfield, Watford and Palace. Given his low low price, Redmond is all set to be a bandwagon player by the inevitable wildcard panic.

Nacer Chadli (6.0) -- West Brom

It's easy to forget, and FPL seem to have, that Chadders was prolific a few years ago at Spurs. When given the chance to play, he skyrocketed to be their top scorer before fading away into benchiness after an unfortunate injury.

The potential for points is there and Nacer has an eye for goal and set piece ability. Judge him not by his meagre 5 goals last season - He's got the goods and could hit the ground running with fixtures like this:



Loftus-Cheek (4.5) -- Crystal Palace

Here's hoping Palace's new signing gets given a shot in the first XI. If not, give a shit. He's 4.5 and you'll never play him (unless you're one of those mentalists who started captaining Capoue in week 4 last season).

The kid showed promise at Chelsea and anyone playing in a team with Bentekkers and Zaha is gonna get assists.

FORWARDS

Alvaro Morata (10.0) -- Chelsea

Chelsea are due a bit of regression this season. They were second best to Spurs last year in terms of goals scored and playing style and had a lot of lucky marginal wins.

That said, their ONLY striker WILL score a tonne of goals. Costa managed 20 playing like cack and Hazard is bound to sort his guap out sooner or later.

There's no doubt Chelsea overpaid for a Real Madrid bench-warmer but he's a proven goalscorer in the prime of his career who managed 20 goals as a substitute. Even J Dizzle would be proudda that.


Josh King (7.5) -- Bournemouth


King scored 16 PL goals last season.

16.

That's more than Giroud, Defoe, Vardy or Benteke. It's 2 more than Rooney, Rashford and Martial combined!

The lad's a scoring sensation, as are Bournemouth. There's an argument that Defoe's selfishness will detract from King's potency, and that's valid, but even if he scores 10 goals you're getting decent value for a 7.5 striker.

THE TEAM

So that's it, then - the winning team for FPL 2017/18. Feel free to leave your comments below and your team drafts in the wastepaper-basket.