As bad as your first week in April might have been, you can take solace in the fact that it was better than Pep Guardiola's. Three defeats on the trot leaves City with no CL to fight for and effectively ends a season that should have ended in a quadruple with nout but a shitty Milk Cup double. To rub salt in the axe wound, his third loss to Liverpool of the season was compounded by the ignomonious tail whooping his beloved Barca received at the hands of Italian average Joe Costanzas, AS Roma. So like me you may have played your wildcard and scored 31 points, and had a Harry Kane (captain) goal stolen from you, then given back to you, then stolen from you again, but tomorrow is another day, and this gameweek is replete with double trouble. I hope you're all set, or have a Wildcard in hand. Otherwise - not to put too fine a point on it - you're gonna get fucked.
When shadows can tell the future.
BUY LNOW
Dele Alli (8.9) -- Tottenham | MCI (H) & BRI (A)
With none of the teams playing twice this week playing at all next week, you may want to save up your wildcard and take a few hits this week, so this buy is very much a short term investment.
It's been tricky to pick between Alli, Eriksen and Son all season - Same great Tottenham attack, similar prices, similar output. Alli actually has the fewest points of all three so far but also has the lowest ownership, and (says me at least) the highest upside.
Son of Erik is the man in form for realzies, with 3 goals in his past two games, and also tends to turn up in the big fixtures, having scored 2 against Chelsea and also finding the net against City and United. He is, though, the most expensive, and at this stage of the season given the amount of information we have on players' expected points/likely starting lineups etc. every 0.1 really counts, especially if you have a wildcard to hand.
Son's playing time is just too volatile, especially with Lamela back, and Moura now in the picture, and Alli is due a big game or three. His critics (who are wrong by the way) have been getting shushhed for the past few weeks and his magical goal against Chelsea showed just how top drawer he can be. Expect him to celebrate turning 22 in style this weekend against a deshevelled City with nothing but being upsettingly good at football to play for.
SELL HIGH
Firmino (9.5) -- Liverpool | BOU (H)
The Reds've only gone and done it. They've beaten the best team in the world - according to Klopp anyway - and BOSH they go into the semis of the Champions League. The first leg is in a couple of weeks and you can expect Liverpool's key starters to lose playing time in the run up to that, and certainly next week.
Prime candidate for a chop is Firmino, who was dropped last week ahead of the City clash. This also applies, to a lesser extent, to Sadio Mane, who has only completed 90 minutes in the Prem 3 times since Gameweek 25.
So you'll prolly wanna sell these foolz, and look elsewhere to breathe life back into your lineup.
APRIL FOOLS' GOLD
Luka Milivojevic (5.1) -- Crystal Palace | BHA (H)
Goals in three games on the bounce is hard to ignore, and I'm sure there are a set of circumstances in which an FPL manager could be confident enough about his team both this and next week to bring in a player who has no double Gameweeks upcoming and quite literally plays football for Crystal Palace.
I'd rather not spend too much time considering those circumstances, because it will make me butthurt about my mediocre team of shitsnappers, but the key point is: If you're bringing this lad in and you don't have a full lineup of DGWers for GW34, and all your possible exits covered, for what are you?
You'll either pull off the swoop of the century and get plaudits from... er... no-one, or - considerably more likely - you'll get what you deserve.
