Boy bands aren't a thing anymore; Brexit has meant nothing, Brexit and then nothing again; American Presidents are orange now; and Pete Doherty can eat a 4,000 calorie mega breakfast in 19 minutes.
If that last one's not a game-changer I don't know what is.
There's also the small issue of Mo Salah, the FPL Pharoah who magicked 32 Prem goals last season and had us all going:
1. "Who the fuck is Mo Salah?",
2. "You've never heard of Mo Salah?", and then
3. "Mo Salah was liquid the whole time, even when he was crap at Chelsea. Shut up, fam."
If you've got both (and you should), you're in for a treat because they will likely have equally smashing games against Wolves and Brighton, but Salah is still potentially a one-season wonder and Aguero has been getting it done for 7 years, which in FPL terms is effectively time immemorial.
So if you really think you have to choose, you haven't been playing this game long enough. Don't make me explain it an eighth time...
BUY LOW
N'Goalo Kante (5.0) -- Chelsea | NEW (A)
I told you pre-season that Kante was not the one. A wise man can admit his mistakes. Luckily I don't have to, because this wasn't my mistake, but an unforeseeable development due to Chelsea's new manager playing N'Goalo in a more prominent attacking role which gets him in the box more often than tinder plus. #SarriNotSarri
Forget everything you thought you knew about this man - he's now a guaranteed starting attacking mid for Chelsea - not just stonking value at 5.0, but the stuff of that dreams are made.
Pedro (6.6) -- Chelsea | NEW (A)
If you wanna buy low,
and have a few more sheets to blow, I'd go Pedro.
The bro's a pro.
He's got sick skills Espanyol.
What's mas - Two starts; two goals.
And Newcastle's defence be so-so.
You think Will.I.An's a risk? No.
They play 'em both, ho.
Already got N'golo?
So?
Double up and go -
Get Chelsea coverage like two types of cheese on your nachos.
SELL HIGH
Alexis Sanchez (10.4) -- Manchester United | TOT (H)
It's not entirely clear what happened to Sexy Sanch.
He was Arsenal's best player by a stretch and the move to United, slotting his silky playmaking prowess in behind powerhouse Lukaku in front of power-middle Pogba seemed a right touch.
But he's been dogshit. And at Bantasy Football we don't pay big bucks for dogshit.
A depreciating asset and struggling with an injury (he didn't play in the loss to Brighton), ditch this fool for literally any Man City mid who isn't Sterling (11.0) (another sell high who didn't play last weekend).
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| Don't get caught in a flash foold |
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