If , like Theo Walcott, you've fallen out of love with Football recently, I get you fam. Sometimes I feel about football the way I've come to feel about politics - It's Always Knowingly Oversold - Like a John Lewis Christmas advert in reverse.
The only good thing about politics nowadays is the Bantastic memes it engenders
But Fantasy Football has never been a more fertile stomping ground for bants, and this week shall prove no exception. BOLD PREDICTION ALERT: Two of either Arsenal, Chelsea, City or United are going to come a cropper this weekend, and Brighton are going to score two against Spurs and still lose. Gamble responsibly, though, or ideally not at all. Ignore Ray Winstone's enticing lures. Does eyes. Dat slicked back hair. But yeh - Wanna know which players are going to benefit points-wise? Well you came to the right place, Jack. We've got nuthin' but net gains for you down here:-
BUY LOW
Ryan Fraser (5.7.) -- Bournemouth | BUR (A)
Sometimes - arguably often - the obvious answer is also the right one. Don't over-think it; pick up the mid who costs less than 6 and has played every minute of the campaign so far, and came in with a whopping 18 points last week. Did I mention that his upcoming fixtures are the PENGest munch? Get some.
22 Sep 15:00
6
Burnley (A)
2
01 Oct 20:00
7
Crystal Palace (H)
2
06 Oct 15:00
8
Watford (A)
3
20 Oct 15:00
9
Southampton (H)
2
27 Oct 15:00
10
Fulham (A)
2
SELL HIGH
Harry Kane (12.4) -- Tottenham | BHA (A)
It's always tough to say goodbye, especially to a player who could score 4 in any given gameweek.
Something's not right with 'Arry though. Something's just. Not. Right. Is he unfit? [Dunno emoji]. Is he not getting the requisite support? Unlikely - he's in front of one of the most liquid midfields in the league, and gets support in the shape of killer balls in from his full backs and all. Has the August curse shifted to September? Almost certainly.
Whatever the rhyme, there's plenty of reason to ditch a player costing the best part of 13 big ones who's simply not producing commensurate figures. Get you some Lukakucakes - You can't captain them, sure, but at least they never go off.
Kane and I are in a plutonic relationship right now, like this dweeb.
FOOL'S GOLD
Lucas Moura (7.4) -- Tottenham | BHA (A)
Now you might think I'm just Spurs bashing at this point but hear me out - It's not that I don't think Tottenham will come good. They will. It's that Kane's not firing on the cylinders necessary to justify his price tag, and that Moura is going to see stiff competition for starts now that Sonny and LameLaLand are vying for a place in Poch's XI.
Moura was the best player in the league in August, and looks absolutment electric. If he nails down a starting berth, which is likely by the end of the season, he'll be one of the best players in the league. I've always said that. At this stage, though, especially with a squad teetering on unhappy, Poch will continue to rotate him, or take him off after 60 minutes, thereby diminishing his expected returns.
Rule 1 of Fantasy Football is pick a player who plays. And there are rules for a reason...
Yeesh
PIC OF THE WEEK
You're welcome, guys and dolls.
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[Dunno emoji]. Is he not getting the requisite support? Unlikely - he's in front of one of the most liquid midfields in the league, and gets support in the shape of killer balls in from his full backs and all. Has the August curse shifted to September? Almost certainly.
